The letter that I wil

The Avocado Tree: A Poem for My Nana

Hanging from the avocado tree
Just my cousins and me
We run around
Up the tree and off the ground

We are at my nana's house
EW! Ryan just killed a mouse
Inside her kitchen, a cookie jar
I begged Nana so hard

Just one more cookie please!
That jar is always such a tease
and Nana agrees and appeases me

We dance and sing along
to the fireworks song
Holidays and family are here
This is why I will always hold my nana so dear

Her crinkly face and white hair
Her bright mind that was always there
Her kind heart and sweet smile
My nana was strong for every trial

She is the mother of our line
A family so funny and fine
I wish one day to be
as wonderful and lovely as she

~ My Nana

Self Love means to me....

Self love means to me....

that I can look in a mirror and tell myself how wonderful I am
I am patient and kind to myself when I make mistakes, because mistakes are inevitable
I accept compliments and believe what others have to say about my positive characteristics
I seek out what makes me happy. I deserve happiness.
I love my body, no matter if it matches what the world around me describes as beauty. My body is strong. My body carries me every day to where I need to be. I take care and love my body through healthy choices, and I indulge when I choose.
I say no to relationships that are draining.
I say yes to events that I want in my life, despite the judgments of others
I believe that I am fine, even wonderful, the way I am
I am patient with my hard days, the days where I am not happy and I am frustrated.
Self love means I love myself despite my brat, moody moments.
Self love means I am strong and I always find my way to where I need to be.
I accept love from others without questioning whether I am worthy
Self love means I love others right where they are, despite their differences
I make weird faces and noises without shame

I love myself and my strengths and imperfections wholly (well more and more every day :))

Emotions

Sometimes sadness and emotions are to much.
Your own sadness and frustration can get depressing.
Being there for others can get overwhelming.
Pain is hard.

But pain shows us the path.

It opens our eyes to what is no longer serving a purpose.
An aspect of life that has expired in functionality and it is time to change.
The act of changing may be hard, but once complete,
Peace can come with the right frame of mind.

Pain is a motivator to fix what needs addressing.

Sometimes it is your mind frame.
Thoughts such as "I am not good enough" challenge you to love yourself.
The thought is incorrect, therefore it hurts.
If you feel alone, make time to connect with others, learning about them first.

Pain is the path to happiness.

Experience it. Be grateful to feel.
Sometimes experiences seem cruel.
But it is okay.
You will be okay, if you only choose to thrive.

Photo Cred: Me

Addiction

"Short Definition of Addiction:

Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death."

http://www.asam.org/for-the-public/definition-of-addiction

Some people call an addiction disease. People have addictions of all kinds: drugs, alcohol, food, sex, video games. The addiction physically modifies a brain. 

I think it is so much more complex than that. I personally believe that addictions are coping with life. Yes, that sounds simple and duh. However, the simplicity is lost in treatment of addiction. People treat addiction with medication, therapy, maybe some coping and distraction skills. And of course, people are supposed to tough through it. 

I believe addictions stem from unhappiness. The human soul can only stand so much suffering. 

The addiction is a symptom, not the cause. If you treat the cause, the symptom will fade. 

I do not downplay the importance of western medicine. When an addiction has gone too far, medication can be very helpful in therapy, sometimes even necessary. However, the addiction will persist if a person feels a lack of love, purpose, peace. Help an addict to feel love. That is the easiest step as a bystander. Unconditional love. Not love that is based on progress. But a love that is based on knowing that a person is worth their thoughts, past, future, present a soul that struggles but has pain and love behind sad eyes. 

Help a person suffering with an addiction to dream. What would they be, where would you go, what would you do, what would you create, who would you love, what wouldn't stop you, what is the frosting to your cake. 

Find peace in quiet times. This is the hardest step of all. Be okay with who you are when you are alone, without distraction. 

Our modern ways of dealing with addiction tell people that they are weak, when really, people are so strong for holding on. Life is hard, but it is beautiful. Be patient with yourself when you find yourself overindulging to cope with some pain or emptiness. 

I suffer with indulging too much when the pain or loneliness is too much. And it is okay. I have come so far. I hope to gain a balance. But addictions never fully go away, because they are coping mechanisms. Yes, find better ways to deal, but we all know, that fit girl binges on a cup cake when she has had a really rough day. And it is okay. Love, love, love yourself. and love others. Be forgiving to the homeless drug addict beggar who is a being, with worth no different than you or I. 

And use your words to shape your reality. If you constantly remind yourself and everyone around you how sad you are, that is all you will ever be. You are happiness. You are love. You are peace. You are existence, experiencing the sensations of good and bad and enjoying every moment because every moment is a blessing. 

Much love 

<3xo

Sarah R. Anderson 

My understanding of existence -

My understanding is that we are spiritual and physical. There is a realm of energy that we access through meditation, prayers, dreams, or even visions perhaps. Some of the people that I have talked to believe that we are in a dream in where nothing really exists. I don't believe that to be true. Our experiences are real. There is matter and existence outside of our perception. Each consciousness is unique. I am me and you are you. But we are not that different or separated. 

Life begins in the energy of the spiritual plane. Our thoughts shape our perception and beliefs, which shape our feelings and actions. Our self talk is a ripple that begins in the mind, and ripples into the physical world. Our thoughts can create whatever we want them to. There is action that is required though. Just because you think you want to run a marathon, you dream of it and put that energy out there, you need to put your feet in motion in the physical plane. There are also thoughts that work against us; thoughts that lead to imbalance and addictions. For me, I enjoy alcohol. My brain is constantly solving the worlds problems (don't know if you noticed that's what I do lol). Alcohol slows those thoughts so I can relax. Ideally, I would meditate and calm my mind on my own. I haven't reached that level yet. I'm not an alcoholic. I drink on the weekends and socially. I will drink wine by myself occasionally but I don't need rehab, so no one call 911 haha I am sharing my experiences to make a point. There are thoughts that can be  less than helpful and create imbalances. You have to stare those fears in the face and move through them. You will do that when you are ready. I do have my own vices that I confront when I am ready to accept the fear and then change my thoughts surrounding it. 

One other thing I have noticed with our individual consciousness is that we are interacting and bumping into each other. We plays distinct roles in each other's lives. I am grateful to have you on my journey. Yes you, reading and interacting with me. I bet you have taught me something and shown me love. Thank you for being on my journey and allowing me to be on yours. We existed before this life. And we will exist after. We come to this physical plane to create. We our creators of the physical plane, of our lives and of others lives. 

My advice is to observe your thoughts. Are you speaking in your mind the things you want to ripple into reality? Every time you remind yourself that you are not happy, that will come about. But if you tell yourself you are what you want to be every day, you will see those signs and symptoms manifest into your life. Be careful with your thoughts and your words. 

Forever love, 

Sarah Anderson 

<3xo 

My Goals

So I preach about how you can make your life your own. What do you want to make it? I've created a list of habits that I want to see in my life. I know that the recommendation is to create SMART goals - I'm not really a fan of those, even though my work team will tell you I am always asking them to specifically define what they want to accomplish haha 

Here are mine: 

Be physically active - the purpose of this is to be able to do the outdoor activities that I enjoy and improve my quality of life - demonstrate by being active as much as possible on a weekly basis. Run a marathon once. 

Continually learn - read books and articles in my spare time. Get the hell off Facebook and pick up a book - the purpose is that I find joy in enrichment. It also makes conversations more interesting. This is what I can do for me. 

Be relationship focused - this is pertinent to all of my relationships - explain my intent so I do not come across as rude - be forgiving - create boundaries - take time for myself - do not create expectations of other people - relationships will flourish as appropriate. Purpose - expectations create disappointment and never bring satisfaction. By being true to myself and not expecting from others, it allows others to flourish in their true selves. Respect others and their hearts. 

Write books - purpose - share what I've learned and collected. Help others to find the peace and happiness I have found. Make time for writing weekly. If a book is too intimidating, start with a blog. Do you see what I did there? ;) 

Eat well - eat whole unprocessed, vegan food. But if you are going to eat a hamburger, enjoy it dammit. Stop eating when you are satiated. Veggies veggies veggies!! Every day. 

Here are my goals. Do you have goals? What are your goals? Do you prefer SMART or zen goals? Are you continually re-evaluating your goals. If you'd ever like help in establishing goals or talking through the steps to achieve them, please let me know. My life purpose is to love and help others love so whatever I can do to be of service :) seriously, use and abuse me. 

<3xo

Sarah Anderson